hug aches

wading through
warm canals and pools clear blue
Tuscarawas flow into
the great lake

riding
back where the highway met dead tracks
ground and now cement and glass
so far away

heal her soul
and carry her my angel
ohio

green green green
what about the sweetness we knew
what about what's good, what's true
from those days

can't count
to all the lovers i've burned through
so why do i still burn for you
i can't say

s'about as perfect as it gets. i miss the sound of the phone ringing when i shed a tear.

Currently listening: Ghosts of the Great Highway By Sun Kil Moon

Labels: mike

posted by Courtney at 12:42 p.m.  | digg this  |  del.icio.us |  0 comment(s)

Sick of paying so much for calls from prison? Click here, DO Something

bloody eyes

Currently listening: Another Desert, Another Sea By Three Mile Pilot Release date: By 13 January, 2000

Labels: mike

posted by Courtney at 10:20 p.m.  | digg this  |  del.icio.us |  0 comment(s)

Sick of paying so much for calls from prison? Click here, DO Something

oh time magazine, you're such a card.

Currently listening: Young Team By Mogwai

posted by Courtney at 9:04 p.m.  | digg this  |  del.icio.us |  0 comment(s)

Sick of paying so much for calls from prison? Click here, DO Something

such a little nightmare brain

rain clouds. i'm still wearing socks and it's june. i sleep too much. i drink too much. i have too much money to be trusted. my extended family won't come see me anymore because i live in a mansion and they're jealous (tell ya what, i'll let you come over and clean it if your so effing jealous, ever try dusting a mansion?). nobody listens. everyone talks. one day i'll have my book published and everyone will pop a woody over it and people will run around saying "i know courtney! i know courtney!" and they'll be asked by the press such questions as "who is the most influencial person or people in courtney's life?" and they'll all say, "uhhhnnn, macgyver? i dunno! make something up! just pay me my damned interview fee!". i feel i shouldn't have to force information on people. my friends force info on me. sometimes it's nice to have a two way conversation. you know, a back and forth rally of words that effin mean something.

all the guys that make advances have significant others and i'm sick of it, i'm not going to fall into your slimy owned-wang-dance trap, no thanks pal. go dip it in your own chick. or theyre germ buckets, swirling vats of bubbling, boiling, steaming venereal disease, warts, herpes, HIV and crabs, just waiting to boil over and make contact with anything that has sex organs. ummm. no. i'd thank you to go WASH. please. dirty fucks.

i have an addiction to seriously depressing reading material. i went to chapters last night and bought a book about the world's most notorious prisons and the history of incarceration. i was in line at safeway today and i saw the time magazine about interrogations at guantanamo, "ooohhh, prison", and bought it. in all my spare time i read accounts of innocents in jail, wrongful convictions, people who've been put to death based on the testimony of a forensics expert who has later been proven to be a fraud and none of his testimony, past or present can be trusted. i read about how the state of arkansas corrections used to harvest plasma from prisoners, prisoners who had hepatitis and HIV, and they'd send it all off to pharmaceutical companies that turned it into meds that control bleeding and thus, were given to women in childbirth and the woman and infant became infected with HIV or hepatitis. the world health organization estimated 3 million women and children contracted HIV and hepatitis from arkansas inmates. toxic shit in vaccinations making people autistic, grisly pow abuses at guantanamo, dubya, apathy, racism, the extreme right. it's all so inhumane and terrible. why do we do this to each other? are we collectively so stupid that we think we'll survive this way?

on the bright side, i did also buy a book entitled "extraordinary popular delusions and the madness of crowds" by charles mackay. should shed some light on why we're the suckiest species EVER.

it sounds like i have the weight of the world in my heart, but my dog is always on my heels and that makes me alright.

Currently listening: Transatlanticism By Death Cab for Cutie

posted by Courtney at 7:53 p.m.  | digg this  |  del.icio.us |  0 comment(s)

Sick of paying so much for calls from prison? Click here, DO Something

tee hee

politically correct this, bitch.



oh come on, you're giggling, don't fuckin' whine at me.

Currently listening: LP2 By Sunny Day Real Estate Release date: By 07 November, 1995

posted by Courtney at 11:28 a.m.  | digg this  |  del.icio.us |  0 comment(s)

Sick of paying so much for calls from prison? Click here, DO Something

ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring

Currently listening: Pinback By Pinback

Labels: mike

posted by Courtney at 7:26 p.m.  | digg this  |  del.icio.us |  0 comment(s)

Sick of paying so much for calls from prison? Click here, DO Something

sikhs, turbans and hate

here in my teenie weenie little city, white people are a minority. kind of. we still make up the biggest group of people, but all the others combined outnumber us. 1 of every 3 residents in richmond is chinese. personally, i think this is fantastic. richmond has a pace that's about 3 steps slower than any other part of the lower mainland, people are laid back, and there are public markets and night markets and big modern hong kongian supermalls and it's brilliant and smells like hong kong and bangkok and the food, ohhh the food. we've had international food critics write that the best meal they ever had in their lives was in richmond, including the best sushi. even over JAPAN. yes. it's true. it's a beautiful city and the only real problems are the nastier white people who think people with pasty skin are the only types of people that are entitled to anything, and the street racing, which i'll admit, is a predominantly chinese problem. but i don't like to look at it that way. i like to look at it like it's a problem. just a problem. not their problem or my problem. our problem. anyway.

some of my friends, well, actually, most of them, think that vancity is the place to be because "there's more to do". i wholeheartedly disagree. vancouver, while beautiful, has a grit, a very western grit and trend and flow to it that i don't like to be a part of. i don't like to be like all the other people my age, not just for the sake of being different, but because it bores me. what excites me? new cultures, learning things that come from the foothills of the himalayas and the tea plantations of sri lanka. trying new food. walking into the richmond public markets and smelling the exact same things i smelled when i got off the plane in hong kong. going into buddhist temples for free veggie food and having them teach me how to pray and why they do it that way. hanging out with my friend kevin from taiwan in the asian supermarket while he teaches me what all the products are and what they use them for. going to the night markets and drinking fresh coconut water and listening to whiny chinese music and smelling steamed pork buns and fried rice. under no circumstances could repeatedly getting drunk and playing pool while we discussed our veganism and sychronize piercings and listen to the most emo music there is available even remotely compare. i like to learn. i don't like to repeat. vancouver is a big bottle of shampoo. lather. rinse. repeat.

i do like to go to vancouver when people from out of town are here. when it's new to someone i'm chilling with, it's like it's new to me all over again and i get that rush "good god, i live in a stunning part of the world". i also like to go to the cambie for a pint here and there because it's a hostel bar and there are people there from all walks of life. newness. learning. no repetition.

there is a bar down the street from our house, it's a total dive and it's all blue collar men and women trying to dull the edge of lower middle class living. i think it's beautiful. i meet all kinds of characters there, characters i would never meet in a different kind of bar. most of my friends hate it because i suppose it's not modern or trendy enough and there aren't enough people their own age to stand around with and talk about their latest sociological gripe, doing nothing about it, just whining like people do. what those people don't realize, is that you can stand around in your vintage clothing, twisting your dreads while you discuss the social problems that affect the lower classes, or you can throw yourself into the thick of it and hear it all from the horse's goddamned mouth. i prefer reality to pretension. and while we're on the subject of the lovely, the grimy, the real pioneer pub, has anyone else noticed the abnormal amount of people who frequent there from latin america? another thing i love...

with all of that said, recently a sikh kid, 17 yrs old, came home and told his parents he was attacked by a group of white kids who tore off his turban and cut his hair. in the sikh religion, hair is sacred, for those of you who don't know, some people even prefer to die before cutting their hair, it's so sacred. the community reacted and the police came out in full-force, the hate crime units, the media, etc. a few days later, the kid admits he made it up. faced with peer pressure and the need high schoolers have to comform, he caved. he wanted only to fit in and knew that if he told his parents that, there would most likely be severe consequences. so he did it to himself and made up the story.

to me, this is understandable. i feel for the kid and i don't think anything more should be made of it. he's suffered enough. and to have the nerve to admit it! that shows some character. faced with what has followed, it showed tremendous character and i think he should be left alone. but the vancity white folk around here will have none of it.

a letter to the editor said:

RCMP and many media personnel equally owe "we, the people" an apology. In the name of eliminating "hate," powerful media personalities and RCMP officers got baited by an amateur. Would it then be fair to ask how far could a real professional take them? And what are the possibilities of it already happening?

If a defence group was formed demanding to cross-examine any future accusation of racial hatred, police and ethnic leaders would scream murder, but it certainly appears some clever questions could have been asked that could have prevented this embarrassment. Read the whole thing here.

a defence group formed to examine racial hatred accusations? as if that's the only thing cops have been duped with? what?? and is that not what the hate crimes unit is by definition? a defence group that examines racial hatred accusations? maybe we need a defence group to examine the defence group that examines the fucking hole in your head?

and why just racial accusations? why are those the only accusations we should suspect as being untrue and spend hefty tax dollars on examining for discrepancies? why not accusations of rape? sexual harassment? sexual abuse? physical abuse? mugging? fuck, let's go all the way and set up a task force that examines whether or not someone who calls to report finding a dead body is telling the truth? before we go check out the body, we could investigate the body-finders entire history and bug his house!

why just hate crimes? because it seems mr. jud ireland, the writer of that letter to the editor, only distrusts people of color.

fucking sick.

on the bright side, i saw this bumper sticker at subway and took a picture and knocked on the driver's side window and told the lady way to go.

Currently listening: 1969: Velvet Underground Live, Vol. 1 By The Velvet Underground

posted by Courtney at 8:05 p.m.  | digg this  |  del.icio.us |  0 comment(s)

Sick of paying so much for calls from prison? Click here, DO Something

the spectrum

Currently listening: Funeral By The Arcade Fire

posted by Courtney at 9:33 a.m.  | digg this  |  del.icio.us |  0 comment(s)

Sick of paying so much for calls from prison? Click here, DO Something

macs to be possessed

Currently listening: Make Up the Breakdown By Hot Hot Heat

posted by Courtney at 2:35 p.m.  | digg this  |  del.icio.us |  0 comment(s)

Sick of paying so much for calls from prison? Click here, DO Something

like god

Currently listening: Aquemini By OutKast Release date: By 29 September, 1998

posted by Courtney at 8:04 p.m.  | digg this  |  del.icio.us |  0 comment(s)

Sick of paying so much for calls from prison? Click here, DO Something