thank you

i have this picture of you beside my bed. i've hidden most of my pictures of you except this one beside my bed. i hid the majority of them because, at extremely inopportune times, they remind me of things that make me just want to bust out into tears. but this one i've left out is beside my bed and every morning when my alarm goes off, i catch a short glimpse of you before i rise and it makes me smile. it makes me smile to know you're in the world. that simple fact will always make me smile. under any circumstances.

tonight i had a very difficult night. not of my choosing, i just felt very alone going through some things that no woman should ever have to. i was so sad. i wandered into my room at about 2am, sobbing from absolute distraught. and i saw this picture of you beside my bed, with aviators on, a cigarette hanging from your mouth, and your index finger pointing to the camera. i just saw it and i grabbed it off my night stand and looked, and warmth just filled me and i started laughing.

thank you for being alive.

Labels: mike

posted by Courtney at 9:37 a.m.

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