step 1. stay home alone in a house you just moved into which is around 50 years old.

2. order a video on demand flick from the horror menu. preferrably 'an american haunting' with donald sutherland.

3. turn off the lights.

4. have a couple beers.

5. midway through the movie, pause to check the front door, in the opposite end of the house, and realize you have left it unlocked. lock it. hurriedly.

6. have another beer.

7. watch the rest of the flick.

8. head to the can to take out contacts because they're dry as hell.

9. brush ass against a note your roommate left you on the counter in the bathroom causing a "shhhhhhhhhh" noise.

10. wonder where the fuck that "shhhhhhhhhh" noise came from.

11. retrace what you did when the noise occured.

12. pull up sleeve to check out goosebumps.

13. continue to step back and forth until finally you hear the same sound again and you piece together that it was in fact the note on the counter and not some supernatural entity trying to scare the living fuck out of you.

14. turn on all the lights and sit as close as you can to your big furry rotty/husky/shephard/lab mutt who will surely sense a ghost before you do.

15. have another beer.

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