THIS JUST IN: executive shake up at seo firm

founder and director of abalone designs inc. resigns.

in an unexpected turn of events for major canadian seo firm, abalone designs inc., courtney heard has stepped down as director. while she will keep her shares in the global-reaching company, she says "i no longer have the desire to stare at white walls in an empty room listen to the echos of my own breathing and the sounds of my minds synapses slowing". she hopes to pursue a writing career.

reacting to the news, courtney's complicated-better-half had this to say in a letter, "I'm proud of you, it's not easy at all to stare the unknown in the face like that. I can't think of too many people who'd have the guts to do what you're doing. That's fucking awesome. I love you so much, you never cease to amaze me."

friend, ashleigh, had a similar reaction, following it up with, "wanna get drunk? on me?"

when asked for comment, drummer john gave us an enthusiastic, "GO OILERS!" and friend and co-worker, carrie, promptly asked what courtney would be doing with her clients.

further reaction came from alex trebek when he asked, "what is... fucked for groceery money, alex? i mean, me. i'm alex trebek you know."

oprah's people would not return our calls. i'm sure this news has been a little unsettling for her, as it brings courtney one step closer to the harpo kingdom takeover.

Labels: mike

posted by Courtney at 8:34 p.m.

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