pure nonsense

ever seen the mothman prophecies? that's about the only movie that ever really scared the living shit out of me. cause i saw a doc a week earlier about the silver bridge collapsing, and i didn't know it was in the mothman prophecies. made it too real. i watched it with my ex and then he took rocky out after, it was like 2am, and i stood in our living room - it was a corner apartment so we had windows all around. i stood right in the center and clenched my hands and kept turning around to keep my eyes on everything so no giant moth-like men would hop out and say foreboding things in my general direction. i slept with the light on. i own the movie now and it still scares me. i can't watch it alone. i dunno why. i'm silly. the exorcist kinda shocked me, that one part when she comes down the stairs all bent. and when i first saw the shining i was like 12 or something and i was terrified by the twin girls and nothing else. blair witch scared me a little, for a while, but it doesn't anymore.

i hate zombie movies though. i dunno what the whole appeal is. everyone i know, and everyone they know and so on, so basically everyone everywhere is a huge zombie flick fan and i don't get it. i mean, i love watching scary flicks cause i'm always looking for the ultimate one, one that will scare the crap outta me. that's the appeal. the safe fear. but zombies don't scare me. nor do movies about things that are a proven reality scare me. like serial killers and shit. that stuff in a flick doesn't scare me. it's the shit about the unknown that does. like ghosts and possession and mothman and stuff like that. i dunno why it scares me so much. you'd think stuff that is real, that has happened without a doubt, such as murder and... fuck, zombies exist in haiti - not exactly like they do in the movies, but the zombification process in haiti is pretty horrific, and what are rabid dogs? theyre fucking ZOMBIES. you'd think shit like that would scare me, but it doesn't. just the unknown. i guess it's just because what you're led to be afraid of is something you have to imagine, it's totally up to your mind to create the source of the fear because it's unexplained. that's what scared me about the blair witch. there was no image given of what was so scary and threatening. you had to make it up yourself. and my imagination is wild, i think up some pretty scary shit sometimes. it's lovely living alone with that kind of imagination. thank god for rocky, he always lets me know if the creepy guy outside my window is real or imagined.

i have a habit of making up songs that i sing out loud and have really no musical merit, just some silly lyrics that i make up as i go along and they almost always have something to do with shoes. "i've got a fire brigade in my shoe, there's tonty and joe joe and little bubba too!" i'm not kidding. i really do this. they also usually have a character named tonty. tawn-tee. when i catch myself i shut up and just continue it in my head. but i rarely catch myself. yeeeeah, now i'm just telling you all stuff that's gonna make you think i'm crazy, but you know what, if no one made up shit like that, there wouldn't have been a suess or a roald dahl or any kind of nursery rhyme. it's all nonsense. i have a knack for nonsense. just reread this paragraph... ish... type thing. pure nonsense. and yet everyone seems to encourage my endless rambles. endless. hehe. there was a story they read us in primary school in australia, i was in grade 3. it was called the magic pudding about a bowl of pudding that just kept filling up no matter how fast you ate it, it was neverending.

i will probably scare mike away with all of this nonsense, if he were here, you see, i would be saying all of this out loud, barely taking a breath and i'd probably giggle myself to sleep at night thinking about nonsense and neverending puddings and elephants living in shoes. and he'd probably mutter under his breath, "shut the fuck up for the love of all things good!" and i'd say, "i heard that. i also heard a song about shoes... two guys named tonty painted my two shoes, and now i've got the painted two shoes blues..." and so on.

Currently listening: Viva Last Blues By Palace Music Release date: By 1995

Labels: mike

posted by Courtney at 12:17 p.m.

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