i read a lot of blogs. it's almost my entire job. it's fucking goofy. seriously, i feel like jesus of the blogosphere.



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you know what bugs me about most blogs? their titles. seriously. there is so much pretentiousness in blogging it's not even funny. most blogs are written in the style i like to call "thesaurusized". this is where the blog writer, we'll call him dipshit, writes up something in his own words and his own style and then goes through it with a fine toothed comb finding simple words he can replace with long, obscure, only-used-once-before-in-history-by-shakespeare words that function as some sort of "look how fucking smart i think i am" badges. it makes me hurl. digitally.



i cannot stand it when people use this style to NAME their blogs. i hate it. surf blog after blog and i swear to you, every second one will have the word "musings" in the title. like the blogger is some kind of brooding fucking out of work playwrite who shares a loft with four college basketballers and posts about how misunderstood his art is, and every once in a while slaps up some silly fucking haiku about not washing the dishes.



hurl.



and then there's the bloggers who post about inane bullshit like how many plastic bags it took to carry home their thanksgiving turkey and what their middle kid's recent fart smelled like. no one cares what your favorite brand of tea is, or how many inches high on your calf your fucking socks reach. stop it. stop polluting my blogosphere.



go read some newspapers, read some books, watch some movies. get yourselves fucking smart.





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