the hibernation has paid off

the panic attacks worsened. good phone call last night. good short one from mike. good long one from another. calmedcalmedcalmed me. but then i woke up to the panic again and thought that powerful emotion like this shouldn't be left to waste and sat down to attempt to overcome the block i've had for the past few months regarding my book, book, book. and i did. i overcame it and new versions will be posted more and more until soon i have a novel's worth and i can send it off to agents and publishers and then go on oprah and be accused of making it all up. slap that bitch. watch me. i added some to the bangkok bit:

In the mood for a marine adventure, we made our way to the bank of the canal, hopped in a longtail boat, warned not to let the water splash on us for fear of foreign diseases so crippling we’d wish we were dead, we huddled and took photos of little brown boys leaping off their back porches, resting on stilts over the bank into the brown, muddy water, splashing and laughing with delight. Men sat on logs, perfectly balanced, holding fishing lines, relaxed and smiling and waving as they hear us roll by snapping photos like some misled group of paparazzi. Long, slim boats slid past us full to the sky with fruits and vegetables and cages with live chickens in them on their way to make their living selling their fare at the floating markets, a wave-rocked merchant bazaar in the canal, the muddy canal, in the dusty city of Bangkok, the skeleton in Asia’s closet, the fatherland of suffering.

and i will be posting the continuation and links to the entire thing within the next few hours. i love being read. i love it. and i love criticism. so. read it and be critical.

Labels: mike

posted by Courtney at 1:17 p.m.

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