oddness

so i've been getting myspace message after myspace message (even emails! - i honestly didn't think i had that many readers, i'm flattered) about my love blog post and so many people have been saying that i make love out to be a cakewalk, nothing difficult about it.

read it again, kids. carefully.

i said love makes you not want to cause intentional pain or discomfort to the other person. never said it doesn't occur without intention.

the love post was a particular response to an email i received from someone who said that the fact that he loves me and has always loved me is the reason why he did something so horrendous to me that the cops are involved now. my point, is that he can't possibly love me. if he did, he'd have rather seen me happy than do what he did. that's real love. wanting more than anything to see the other person happy, no matter what sacrifices you have to make.

and of all people to tell that love is difficult, you all think you have to tell me?? i'm in love with a man in prison who won't be out for 6 years and MCI keeps putting a block on the line! and i just got my visiting papers in the mail two days ago! i have to go to a prison to visit him! and touch him and hug him and love him even more and then leave. then i have to leave and wait 6 yrs. 6 years of maybe phone calls, 6 years of worry when i don't get a letter in a few days (what's happened, is he in the hole? did someone beat him to a pulp?). 6 years of pretending i'm looking forward to going to ohio. 6 years of leaving ohio in sobs. and then if i want to be near him after 6 years, i have to move cause canada doesn't take convicted felons.

do you know what it's like to look at that beautiful face and hear that beautiful voice and not be able to touch him?

yeah, you don't have to tell me love's difficult.

let's all simultaneously pull our heads out of our asses. ahhh, ain't that better?

Labels: mike

posted by Courtney at 11:26 a.m.

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