well. it's done. i've split up with my babydaddy. reasons are unimportant, let's just say it's the only way for joey to have two happy parents. i hope both of us take our half of the responsibility in that very seriously because a little boy's stability is at stake.

you know what totally fucking sucks? you grow up with this idea in your head of what a family ought to look like. you have these fantasies of meeting this amazing man who sweeps you off of your feet and treats you like nothing else on earth matters. and then you imagine him proposing to you, somewhere romantic, something memorable and you're so head over heels in love, you say yes. then you imagine a few years devoted to that relationship, just fun and love and happiness. eventually you get around to starting a family and the pregnancy announcement is exciting and happy and joyful and the baby comes and everyone is happy and oozing with love for this little kid, and then we all ride off into the prozac'd sunset.

right. instead we have an oops with the roommate, try to make a go of it for the kid's sake, but cohesion between the two of us is elusive, impossible, nonviable, unworkable, just slightly out of reach at best. the minute i knew i was pregnant and realized i was happy, no, excited about it, i realized, life just fucking happens as it happens and we have to make the best of it.

the upside to all of this is, of course, my angelic little boy who i love more than anything i could ever have imagined. little joe is now the main man that owns my heart. and fuck am i lucky for it.