fucking hilarious

from: http://iamthecheese.journalspace.com

He thought it would be fun if he and a bunch of his co-workers got in a circle and all dipped their Johnsons in whatever they were drinking and then torched their zamboners to watch the alcohol burn off while they each finished their neighbor's drink. Whoever finished his drink before his Wilbur burnt out was the winner. Madelyn, the woman salesperson, would declare the winner.

Madelyn declined the judgeship, and none of the other salesmen were willing to set their Johnsons on fire, but that didn't stop Damien. He said if everyone else was going to be a pussy about this, he'd just have to go it alone. So he talked one of the other guys into holding the match while he dropped his pants, wet his Whanger in his Martini, and then tried to chug his drink while his Fuzzbuster went up in flames.

He hadn't counted on his gonads getting in the way. They got singed, Damien had to be taken to the local ER, and management of the Hotel/Restaurant wants our salespeople to find another place for their annual party next year. It seems that the screams from Damien's party disturbed other patrons who were curious about the grown man walking through the lobby with his pants around his ankles while he was clutching his bar-b-qued Package.

Whether or not my partner likes it, Damien is getting the heave-ho today. He and his roasted chestnuts can represent some other company.

Currently listening: Thriller By Michael Jackson

posted by Courtney at 2:10 p.m.

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