bureaucracy makes my heart go pitter patter

an excerpt from a letter i wrote to mike:

speaking of simplicity, i called MCI today and asked why i had a block on my phone and they put me through to the department that deals with their contracts with correctional institutions and i got a recorded message telling me that my provider had put a block on them. so i call my provider (i switched from sprint to vonage when i moved) and ask why there's a block and they tell me that they don't allow any collect calls on any of the phone services they offer. and i kept asking if there was any way possible to make an exception and, aside from offering the guy the best blow job of his life, tried to persuade them with any means necessary to no avail. so i call my cell phone company and try the same deal to no avail. so i get back on the phone with MCI to see if i can just get a number with them and have it forwarded to my line now and the woman told me it was possible and started setting me up, and we went through the whole fucking song and dance until she realized it was a business line and said she would have to transfer me to a specialist in the dept. that deals with correctional institutions. SIGH. so i get transfered and i get the same fucking recorded message that my provider has put a block on their calls and then it hangs up on me. so at this point my thick blond hair is now thin and grey and i'm yelling at becky and chain smoking on my patio and i just call sprint and get a new phone number with them and the guy i talk to first is asking me all these weird questions like "how old are you?" , "do much dating out there on the west coast?" "are you tall?" WHAT?? and just as he's about to blow his load to the sound of my voice he asks why i'm in such a rush to get this line installed and i'm honest, i tell him i get collect calls from a correctional institution in the states. so he transfers me to someone else where i go through a whole new routine and a whole new set of questions and finally, finally get the order in and i'm going to have a new phone number on february 2nd just for you.

i hope it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy, cause if you feel like i shouldn't have done that, you are very dangerously mistaken. of course i should have, you're in possession of large chunks of my heart and mind and soul and your voice makes me smile like nothing else... not having a way to hear it would be a serious blow to my inner peace. i'd go through that eighty more times just to talk to you. so don't feel guilty or anything. i'm a big girl, i can make my own damned decisions, and i'd make the same one over and over for you. besides, the money and time would have been spent on something much less happy and warm, like beer or smokes. so, in essence, you're saving my life. i owe you huge.

Currently reading: Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity By David Allen

Labels: mike

posted by Courtney at 5:26 p.m.

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