october the seventh

sometimes i feel panic when there's too much to do, too much on my plate. it can be all good, it can be somewhat bad, don't matter much. i just get panicked sometimes when i'm unsure if i have enough time to do all the things i need to do or should do. i get this racing heart fear and i can't sleep and lack of sleep only makes me crazier. for some reason mike is the only thought that ever calms me down when i'm in this state. since i first knew him, i have been calmed into a comfortable slumber by the thought of his laugh. thank fucking god for mike. i hope he gets to laugh in prison. i hope he gets his appeal, i hope he gets out sooner than later, i hope he has a chance to unleash his genius on the world, i hope he has the chance to fall in love again, i hope he has the chance to father a child and write a book and stand up for the things he believes in. i hope he realizes how unbelievably incredible he is, i hope he realizes how much the world needs him in it. i hope he realizes how terribly much i love him and how grateful i am for everything he's ever done for me from sitting on the phone for hours upon hours upon hours of expensive time just to make sure i was getting through some tough times ok, to sending me the most beautiful birthday card i have ever recieved, to teaching me about music, singing to me, reading to me, opening my eyes to things i never knew existed, making me laugh so hard, so often, and speaking to me in such beautiful, humorous, intelligent english and most of all for just loving me exactly as i am, for having a heart as unconditional as my dog's.

i wish on all of you a friendship as great as this.

Currently reading: The Wrong Men: America's Epidemic of Wrongful Death Row Convictions By Stanley Cohen

Labels: mike

posted by Courtney at 1:17 p.m.

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